Holy Spirit – LadyEm ~ Under Mary's Mantle

… from my perspective…

I saw the below comment today… and after all the self-reflection I’ve done over the past several years… for some reason, this grated me. It was a Facebook status…. and at my age, I go back to a few thoughts with this…

1) I don’t know what this person is walking through, but I know that being taken advantage of stinks…
2) Did this person try to talk to whomever it was about how they were feeling, and try to work it out?
3) If you are kind to your friends, do you keep score? Is that what this is? hmmm…

More thoughts after the pic…

Last year we sent our son to college. I won’t go into detail on my blog, but we were accused of not being appreciative of the family hosting our son in Texas… He lived at the dorms but they stepped in for holidays and breaks, and made sure all was well. When I read some things that were said… I was so hurt by it, I couldn’t speak to the folks because I was just stunned. My point – I think some people need all the accolades and attention, and for everyone to do everything their way…. And if they don’t get it – they feel taken advantage of. And that’s NOT ok.

When I am accused of something, I assess and reassess. For sure, I help strangers, and I know I would do more for folks I love… And I have to say – in no way were these folks taken advantage of. Someone just didn’t get their way in a matter, and it didn’t go the way they wanted it… and now, friendships are lost.

Everyone walks through life thinking that others appreciate their actions or advice. We all want to believe that people mean what they say. No one expects a friend to offer kindness, and then tell you what you owe them or act like you are not thankful enough. That’s NOT kind. Period.

But – the good news is… and Dear Readers, there is always good news… It really made me reflect on friendship… and what it means to be a good friend. And why some friends come then go… why some are lifelong friends. And it occurred to me, that not everyone knows how to make friends… But I feel like I can help.

In order to make good friends, you have to be a good friend. At my age (seriously said it), you can tell who is worthy of your friendship. There is a difference between being friendly/kind and being FRIENDS. Moving from Texas to Italy, trying to navigate the MIL Spouse life after Marque had been retired nearly 19 years has been interesting.

In order to be a good friend – you must do the below and MORE:

For me: I prefer Catholic (Christian)/Conservative friends.
- But believe me when I tell you I have friends from every walk of life. It’s challenging and teaches respect to befriend folks who believe differently.
Be there/show up and listen more than you talk.
Be kind (and yes, honest advise is kind).
Be ready to work.
- As you are getting to know someone be patient and understanding.
Be honest and loyal.
- This is not hard. The best kinds of people are honest and loyal.
Do for others what you want done for you.
- Do they teach the Golden Rule anymore? You do know it’s NOT all about you, right?
Pray for those who hurt you.
- This is so important. My mother was a violent alcoholic. The things she did and said… unspeakable. But I forgave and prayed for her. I still do. People I poured my heart into that later rejected me… I pray for them when I think of them. And I really purpose to remember the good.
Take responsibility for your thoughts and actions.
- When the day is chaotic, sometimes you don’t mean to say or so the wrong thing, but you do. People who know and love you will accept a heartfelt apology… ok – maybe a glass of wine/coffee/spritz… whatever.
Don’t judge others unfairly.
- Did you know that some people are perpetually late, have a messy house, yell at their children, and make all kinds of mistakes? And these people – are still great friends.
Be Kind Anyway.
Love your enemies.
- Hard to do. But – through Prayer and Forgiveness – yes, even if you don’t continue your friendship, you still love them. Hurt feelings and severed relationships can also be repaired – IF you behave the right way (see below).
Lead with Love. Jesus taught us to lead with love. And y’all, He didn’t say Love only those you want to… be kind to only those you want to… He lead by an example we are expected to follow as Christians. We are to Love our Neighbors As Ourselves… really – more than ourselves.
Did I mention – BE KIND!

I have NOT always made the best choices in my life with friends and many other things, if I am being honest… And I have learned so much about myself over the years… One thing I know for sure is that the friends who encourage you in virtue and who you have faith in common with are the best friends ever. I have friends who aren’t Christians, and there are some things we can’t discuss. I cherish them, but it can be hard from time to time.

Friends do what they say they will do. They are reliable and they pick up the phone/pick up a child/send money/food, etc. when they can. And they expect NOTHING in return. Honest ~ Faith-filled ~ Loyal ~ Kind ~ Those people are YOUR people. Stick with them. But turn your back on no one… because others need to see your example.

Years ago in a Bible study, the leader was telling us to make sure our home isn’t spotless when folks come over for a casual Bible Study or cup of coffee – especially if they have small children. My OCD mind was racing y’all. I instantly judged this person… but then I listened to what she said. There are people who are in the thick of raising littles and their house won’t be spotless for decades… (you know what I mean)… I never realized that my idiotic perfection with that kind of thing made others uncomfortable. People just need other good people in their lives, they don’t need for your home to be a museum-quality clean.

True friends accept us for WHO we are and all of our flaws. Trust me. I’d have no friends if they didn’t. I’m blessed to have friends I’ve known 57 years or more… our parents and grandparents were friends, and besties I’ve known since HighSchool/College… you know? These people are treasures… and I know if there was a crisis, they would absolutely step up – because THAT IS WHAT WE DO!

People have said to me for years, “Why do you do volunteer?” or “Why do you help others that don’t seem to care for you?” But y’all, it’s not about me. It’s me, trying to do God’s work – as an imperfect human. I don’t pretend to do it all correctly.

To the person who wrote the statement at the top of this post, I say this… whether someone is taking advantage of you or not – you should always do the right thing. It’s none of my business what someone does with my advice, help or anything else. If I am doing the right thing… If I follow what God puts on my heart, I don’t have to get bogged down in other people’s issues… It then goes back to “Pray for them! Love them Anyway!”

Please know that everyone who comes into your life leaves an impression or teaches a lesson. Don’t be sad or beat yourself up. Learn and move on. God has bigger things for you – I promise you that.

And can I tell you one last thing – our youngest has always been a helper. Helped a lady change her tires the other day; paid for a man’s small purchase of water and coffee because the man’s card didn’t work…. and I was so proud. Proud of him. Proud of our example as parents… giving myself a good old pat on the back. But then, God said to me “he’s 19 and he is NOT of this world. He’s MY son.”

I deserved that reality… I can not take the credit y’all. It’s all God! And with that – I hope you learned a little today. I’d love to hear about what you think makes a good friend. Please leave a comment… and remember ~

Imperfect… but so kind. Talk soon.

Love, Hugs & Blessings,
LadyEm

Do not read this if you are not Pro-Life or Conservative, it will just irritate you and baffle you. I’m sorry to say that but it’s true.

You can call yourself whatever you like. But there are two things that you need to know if you are Catholic and want to remain IN GOOD STANDING:

Number One – You can not be an abortion proponent.

Number Two – You can not be pro-choice. It’s a copout, not a stance.

Eight years ago, I had the fantastic Privilege of signing up to speak on behalf of unborn babies at the State Capital of Texas. I have switched blogs since I wrote the below post. I have changed it slightly to update year count and things. However, in light of one of the most important reasons to vote for President Trump, and against Mr. Biden – who has recently said he would “make Roe V. Wade the law of the land”, I am resurrecting past abortion posts.

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Written in 2013 – WHY WENDY DAVIS IS NOT MY HERO – TELLING THE TRUTH!

Here is an article today about Wendy Davis. Apparently she is a hero to some. I feel that I can not let that stand. I feel like I have to speak out for myself and others like me who do not think she is a hero… and here is why:

Let’s be honest folks…

1) If Ms. Davis was really concerned with what the women of Texas wants, she would have allowed the vote to take place. She knew the bill would go through and filibustering was the ONLY way she’d keep it from happening.

2) If Ms. Davis cared about her constituents then she would not have allowed her team to delete all the Pro-Life comments from her FaceBook page. All the women who asked her to sit down. All of her constituents who did not want her to do this… completely ignored. She turned her backs on us. She silenced us. Well – she tried to. But I can tell you – she will NOT silence me. And she will NOT silence thousands of women like me.

Oh no, she is NOT my hero. She is not a friend of women and she should not be your hero either. Like many other politicians, I believe Ms. Davis did what she did yesterday because she has higher aspirations and wanted to draw attention to herself. Time will tell if I am right.

The Facts:

Do you ever wonder why 40 years after Roe Vs. Wade, many states are restricting abortions? Yes, it is true. In 2012, 19 states enacted 43 provisions…. mandatory waiting periods, parental notification, and banning of 20+ weeks abortions.

Read this article HERE.

Did you know that people who have abortion have major issues with depression, suicide, etc.? This doesn’t even include the infections people get. Google infection after abortion… you will be grossed out and dismayed if you read the articles you find.

Read this Post Abortion Page HERE.
Read this article HERE.

I had mine 38 years ago on November 10th, 1982. I ended up in the hospital weeks later with such a bad infection I had to stay there for over a week. I had to be carried into the hospital by a friend. I was 19. I was alone. My dad out of the country, my mother long since out of my life (it was an off and on thing). I had PID. I had scars the rest of my life. I had several miscarriages because my uterus never worked right again. I ruined my chance of having children. What pro-abortion women don’t admit or don’t understand is how much damage they do to themselves. And as their families find out as their friends find out – how much damage it does to relationships and to the psychology of who you are.

People – Tell the truth. Life after abortion is hard. It’s belittling. It’s judging. It’s beating yourself up. It’s crying in the hospital after a miscarriage at four and a half months because you know you caused this. It’s a hole in your heart that God fills, but the devil never lets you forget. It is grappling with forgiving yourself. It is many conversations with a Priest who finally tells you that God forgave you long before you will forgive yourself. THANK YOU FATHER HENRY, Melbourne, FL – 1984.

If you have had an abortion and you say that don’t remember every moment of the day, every second of that moment, and if you say you haven’t mourned that child thousands of times since then – then you are lying. I know the pain because I LIVE IT! Tell the truth.

I don’t know how I finally got lucky enough after many miscarriages and so much struggle to have my child. I wanted 6+, I have one… .and he is a gift from GOD! A true gift. God knew how sorry I was and how much I wanted a child. He blessed me… not because I deserved it, but because I am forgiven.

There are monetary effects on our economy – as in we taxpayers are funding a lot of abortions. There are mental and physical effects/affects on the women who have them for decades to come. I am not judging anyone who has abortions. Clearly I am in no position to do that. What I am doing is trying to make you think about the long-term affects of abortion.

If you have had an abortion, you need to know this:

God will forgive you.
You are not a hypocrite if you stand with Pro-Lifers later.
All of your Catholic and Christian friends do not hate you. We love you. We are not judging you. They did not judge me – even though I really thought they would. I kept my secret for decades, never thinking I was good enough or that my friends would still love me. They do… and so will yours. The ones that don’t – and there will always be some, they will answer to God. Believe me… in the same way we all answer for our sins.
You are lessening your chances to have children and could cause many physical and mental issues for yourself. Research it.
Please, please get all the facts before you do this. I’ll be praying for you and if I can help you, if you need to talk to me – contact me via your comment.
Oh and Ms. Davis – you may want to check into this: The Texas Senate Bill you tried to stop was voted on and passed – Thank you GOD!

God is powerful and HIS WILL BE DONE!

I leave you with a link to and a quote from Our Blessed Saint Teresa of Calcutta’s 1994 Speech to the audience at the National Prayer Breakfast. Saint Teresa’s Speech

But I feel that the greatest destroyer of peace today is abortion, because it is a war against the child, a direct killing of the innocent child, murder by the mother herself. And if we accept that a mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell other people not to kill one another? How do we persuade a woman not to have an abortion? As always, we must persuade her with love and we remind ourselves that love means to be willing to give until it hurts. Jesus gave even His life to love us. So, the mother who is thinking of abortion, should be helped to love, that is, to give until it hurts her plans, or her free time, to respect the life of her child. The father of that child, whoever he is, must also give until it hurts.
By abortion, the mother does not learn to love, but kills even her own child to solve her problems. And, by abortion, that father is told that he does not have to take any responsibility at all for the child he has brought into the world. The father is likely to put other women into the same trouble. So abortion just leads to more abortion. Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching its people to love, but to use any violence to get what they want. This is why the greatest destroyer of love and peace is abortion.
Many people are very, very concerned with the children of India, with the children of Africa where quite a few die of hunger, and so on. Many people are also concerned about all the violence in this great country of the United States. These concerns are very good. But often these same people are not concerned with the millions who are being killed by the deliberate decision of their own mothers. And this is what is the greatest destroyer of peace today — abortion which brings people to such blindness.

I am not afraid of retribution. I am not brave for telling my story. I am an instrument of God. And He lights my way…