Anxiety and Fear · Catholic · Catholic Faith · Currently · Emily (Me) · Faithsanity · Italy · Mental Health

Faithsanity – We All Need It!

Dear Ones,

#truth

Did you ever experience heartbreak whilst praying a Novena or Listening to a suggested video?

Ahem, I have a point.

Well yesterday I had one of those moments. I was reading the forward for the St. Therese Novena, and it was suggested we listen to a video from the Pray More Novenas Retreat. Y’all – it was overwhelming. My chest and heart were heavy with sorrow at how lacking I am in my trust for God. But it was AWESOME and NECESSARY! And it took every fiber in my being to not beat myself up for being weak.

I really do try, every day, to look on the bright side. And I find that actively praying and being involved in Catholic Community is essential to my Faithsanity. You say, “what is Faithsanity? That’s not a word!” I say, “yes it is, I just made it up!” To me it means – being present in my faith and having good and faithful people around me that keep me on the right track. No – it’s not their job. But when you spend your time with quality, uplifting people, your attitude and angst can turn around. I promise you that. And anyway – the back and forth mentally can make life feel insane. Without my faith – on days I doubt and turn my back – I feel insane. Therefore, the word Faithsanity stands. I’m gonna say it’s an ACTION VERB! The art of purposing to stay active in the word and surrounded with Faith so that you won’t lose your mind. How’s that? You’re welcome!

I won’t bore you with everything I’ve walked through in my life. If you have read my various blogs the past nearly 20 years, you know the craziness of my childhood, and all the details that brought on a monumental lack of confidence in myself and my talents that God gave me… And sadly, my lack of trust for God himself.

I don’t know if you are like me, but for as long as I can remember, my mind, when any little thing goes wrong, spirals very quickly to a dark place… Not a place where I would harm myself (though I have thought of it at times in my life)… But a place where the doubt and the “well of course things won’t go right, how could it… no body cares about me…why do you hate me God?” thoughts trickle in. And I’ve made a lot of bad decisions based on how little I thought I was worthy of God‘s love. It could be the smallest thing and I spiral. So weak – right? In my mind, I’m so weak… and yet, in HIM I am strong! Come Holy Spirit – help me remember.

I am here, in Italy, separated from a truly faithful community. Even though I teach CCD and am involved, I do not feel close to these folks, many who truly do not put God first. I’m sure there are people here who would take offense, but it’s very weak Catholicism here. Very weak indeed. Our Catholic Community at home was close and strong and lived liturgically. And it was awesome… Admittedly, I did not always see it. But that’s not the point. The point is – I need that close Catholic Community. I need to stay in the word and bridge the gap of being away from home whenever and however I can. Because this whole hiding thing I’ve been doing – it doesn’t work! lol

Anyway – before I talk your heads off, Let me lead y’all to this clip I watched yesterday… If you are struggling with self worth, self doubt, and any kind of spiritual negativity – Please click the link (look for the study sheet too)… and LISTEN to this. Memorize it. God knows our world and knows how much we need him. I implore you!

I may listen to this daily for the next several days. I want it to really sink in. As I was watching, I became hopeful that I will once and for all, really take the words in and realize that I am special to God and That I have a purpose. If you are walking through a period of time, be it daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly or just randomly periodic… where you need assurance that God loves you and that he doesn’t need you to be perfect he just needs you to trust him…

This is for you: The Gift of St. Therese and Her Weaknesses

Additionally – Please sign up at Pray More Novenas for a great spiritual experience. John-Paul and Annie are spectacular and bless us all so much. I always get so much out of it. Being honest, there are times I miss a day, and that is ok. God knows your heart. Catch up and keep going. Without great and encouraging people like these faithful two, I’d be lost. I’m so thankful.

I just thought I’d share that with you! It may make absolutely NO sense to you.
But I am struggling – obviously… and I am going to keep coming back and reminding you that there is hope in God and our Faith! We are blessed and we are strong. And our Weaknesses will teach us what we need to learn – therefore to view them as gifts is necessary!

1 Peter 5:7 –   Cast all your anxieties on him, for he cares about you. 

Be blessed Dear Ones. I miss you all.

Love & Hugs
LadyEm

Catholic · Catholic Faith · COVID · Davis Family · Italy

COVID INSANITY… it’s a thing y’all.

Dear Ones,

I don’t talk about a whole lot of politics on my blog, but I just want to remind anyone (you know, the three of ya) who reads my blog to research and look at conflicting views on things. Don’t just take your favorite news channel’s views on thing. And mostly – choose the view of The Church. YES – we have to follow the law of the land, but we are bound by our Faith to stand with God’s Rules. Currently there are so many infringements on our rights going on in our beautiful America, that my head is about to explode. More than that, common sense and logic are GONE! I feel like I am in an Eagle’s nest watching my beautiful country implode.

I think the isolation and fear of it all have gotten to so many otherwise sane people. I really want to believe there are a lot of good people left in the world. Let’s PRAY for that to be true. Because – COVID INSANITY… it’s a thing y’all.

I am framing a few posts about race and things, given that my family is bi-racial and I’m not going to be forced to choose which child I like better based on the color of their skin. I mean – who would do that? But I will be waiting to post them until I can state my position in a classy way, because it all kinda makes me angry. And I believe in tempering my words.

Which got me thinking… we need to teach our children to be good people, good listeners, and loyal friends. In the past week or so, I’ve been thinking about negative people… you know the kind who NEVER have a positive thing to say. It’s all about their way or what they desire and they are NEVER wrong. You know the type. The scatter the earth with rumors and lies and are narcissistic adults that bounce from friend to friend because they can’t keep friends long term. It’s so sad. I judge myself harshly for being so lost in the mire of life where you feel stuck in the negativity after so much as gone wrong – bogged down in the mud and much. But we must lift ourselves out of it brothers and sisters, by clinging to basic truths taught to us by Jesus.

Surround yourselves with good and loyal Christian people. Be the kind of spouse, friend, parent, family member others will admire and respect because they see Jesus in you. And for those you come across who don’t really know Jesus, use their ugliness as a reminder to pray for them. Truly – it will soften your heart.

Many of us are isolated. I’m in another country, for heaven’s sake. Mass is televised. It’s a sad time for us all. But we have the Saints and so many others to look to. Get out your Saint Books. Read your Bibles. Play Family Games. Bake for a neighbor. Exercise. But please, bite your tongue and say a Hail Mary or just call on the Holy Spirit instead of saying or doing something ugly. It’s enough already. For the record, if you feel like COVID is making you a bad version of yourself reach out to someone who will listen. I’m here. AND maybe look away from the news and insanity.

I pray your week is great. We spent the day cooking and prepping for the week yesterday – so I am feeling organized – Kinda.

Love, Hugs & Blessings All!
Lady Em

Catholic · Catholic Faith · Counting Blessings · Davis Family · Italy · Lent · Uncategorized

Walk With Me… I'm In the Desert…

desert

Dear Ones,

Can I ask you a question? And it’s a DOOZY… How’s your Lent going? With all this Coronavirus stuff and living in Italy, I can tell you – It’s not the best… OR IS IT?

When I started this post, my husband was laying asleep recovering from colon surgery (I’ll get to that). My child is knee-deep in virtual school – which he’s stressed about, but we’re both thankful we homeschooled before, so he’s ok. Sure, he misses his friends and being able to leave our Parco (neighborhood), but he’s doing ok.

February 25th, Marque went in for routine colon surgery to remove a bad area of his colon. We were told it was precancerous, but because there was a visiting surgeon with a colorectal specialty, we could do it sooner rather than later and she’d help out. The surgery was supposed to last three hours and lasted twelve. One of THE absolute longest days ever. People sat with me, comforted me, my child was there. And finally after 10pm, we headed home. 

On the first day of Lent, I walked into the hospital room to my husband writhing in pain. It was no one’s fault. The way they laid him during surgery was slanted, and arms pinned by his side, and his shoulders were so pain filled he could not even lift his arms. The visiting Priest (ours is in California having serious surgery near his family) brought us prayer, blessings and Jesus in the Eucharist. Lent in a Day, y’all. Ash Wednesday. We got our Ashes too. Sigh

My husband was in the hospital for 23 days. I’ll spare you the details on the ups and downs, but there were some very scary moments/days where the desert FEAR causes was very real. As the days turned into weeks, the coronavirus got serious. A friend of ours, a surgical tech, warned me and made sure I understood late one evening that I would need supplies to last a month and that when I took Marque home, I should not venture out so I wouldn’t catch it. I remember being irritated because no one thought it was very serious – and then all of a sudden, Italy was shut down.  

If you can imagine, here in Italy, we have to carry legal paperwork (in Italian) letting whomever might stop us know WHY we are leaving the house. We can leave for necessity, for medical needs, proven work requirements, and for returning home. Only grocery, pharmacy, a few hardware stores, and maybe a few other places are open. When the Italians decree came out that their people could no longer visit family in hospital, I asked permission to see my husband daily. AND I had to be home by curfew (6pm).

  • What if I told you that my husband did have cancer but it’s all gone? It never spread beyond his colon, not in his blood stream, not in his lymph. 
  • What if I told you that yesterday, on Gaudete Sunday, as frail as he has been whilst healing (he lost nearly 50 lbs and is weak for now), he taught our son to grill chicken and shrimp and we watched a family movie? 
  • What if I told you that this scary time has brought us closer, and helped us all appreciate one another more?

Before Marque had surgery a Priest told us we’d had our Lent laid out for us, he didn’t think we needed to give up anything else. And you know what, he was so right. The list of people I need to thank is long. I gave up sleep, my ego, and so much this Lent.  We have all given up Christ in the Eucharist, and aren’t even sure if there will be Easter Mass. In my 56 years, I’ve never seen or experienced ANYTHING like it. 

There were moments that I really didn’t even know if my husband would live. The fear in the desert is real. But I rejoice for this walk in the desert and the ability to be a light for others, and let others do for our little family.  

I look forward to the day when quarantine is over and I can be in front of Jesus again. Until them I will adore him at home, with my little family, in our sweet desert.

Praying for you all.
Air Hugs (social distance mandate).
Love and blessings,
LadyEm

 

#LadyEmCrafts · Catholic · Catholic Bible Journaling · Catholic Faith

Catholic Bible Journaling …

Dear Ones,

Happy Wednesday! Do you Bible Journal? My friend Martha and I started a Catholic Women’s Bible Journal group on FaceBook in 2016. I love it, but often forget to post. I’ve made some “Pinterest Fails” in my journaling, and to tell you the truth, I started out just writing Bible passages and doodling. It’s a HUGE business now. Sometimes things like that bother me because my brain is weird. I get it… others don’t and it’s OK! But my point is, we’d love to have you join us…

Some people are super self-conscious about their talent. Let me show you the progression for me. And truly, because I am a perfectionist at heart, I totally ruin it for myself much of the time and would never show anyone my work.

In the pictures below, you can see that I have written out verses and doodled; highlighted verses and written a note whilst stamping a Chalice and coloring it; stamped and painted… Some are way better than others! And it’s all ok.

Some of you may say to yourselves, “I can’t paint or color in in my Bible. How will I read the words?” — I have more than one Bible, so I work in only one of them. I usually can read most of the words, but sometimes, I can’t. AND you can always do it in a journal or sketch book. Whatever you feel comfortable in. And it’s OK! Honestly – have you seen what some of the people do. My word – my work pales in comparison. BUT – there are two things to note here… 1) Don’t compare your work with theirs, that is not what Bible Journaling is about. And 2) My love for God does not pale in comparison. Of this, I am sure.

I hope I have encouraged you to pick be creative whilst studying The Word. I pray you will join us on this journey. More on Bible Journaling soon.

Love, Hugs & All the Blessings!
Lady Em

#Catholic Bible Journaling · Catholic · Davis Family · Italy

HAPPY NEW YEAR! No Resolutions Here!

Dear Ones,

Life got busy and I haven’t been around much. I really do have so much to share with you. Recipes, Christmas pics, and a plethora of other things. But first – I wanted to talk to you about my pledge to not share my New Year’s Resolutions here. WHY? Uh – because when I don’t accomplish them (which – happens A LOT), I feel awful about me. And since I am the queen of putting pressure on myself, I Aint Doin It!

Let me wrap up my attitude about how 2020 is going to be in a few words:

Now, my prayer for 2020 is simply one by Saint Francis of Assisi. When you see the picture, as you are reading it, You WILL sing the song. Yes you will. I do it every time. And if you don’t know the song, I will find it for you – just ask.

Oh please let’s make a year of peace, pardon, healing and moving on to happier times. Amen!

Many of you know, but some don’t, that my friends and I started a Bible Journal group on Facebook. – Catholic Women’s Bible Journaling. We are hoping to grow it and make it more interactive, and have giveaways, etc. But for now, I’ve created a January Bible Prompts sheet to share. I have it in .pdf form AND in picture form. But because of my limited Tech Knowledge, I’ve placed it here as a picture. If you need it as a file, please email me. And if you want to join our little group – please click on the word Catholic above.

Because I love ya, I’m keeping this short. Here’s a picture of my family and I after Christmas Mass. And a couple other things.

May you have a blessed Celebration tonight.
May our Lady’s Feast Day comfort you tomorrow.

Happy Happy New Year.
Praying for you all!

Love, Hugs & Blessings,
LadyEm