Becoming Empty Nesters

July 25, 2022 LadyEm63Leave a comment

Please note, I’ve updated the name but not the URL for my blog. In a world full of Catholic Bloggers, I just want to be me. I’m unapologetically Christian/Conservative, but I’m a lot of other things. I’m not the great writer others are…. and I am just going to journal and play here. I hope you like the new lightness of the blog (ok, not always light). LOL

August 3rd, we will have been in Italy for four years. I can’t believe how fast and how slow it’s gone. You know what I mean?

On July 6th, our youngest left for Texas to go to Engineering School. He got into so many schools, it was hard for him to decide where to go. We landed at a small school in Texas. I say WE because we had tons of family conversations about it. And although pop culture tells parents they have no say, I beg to differ.

You see that young man… he’s going places. And his daddy, friends, a few teachers, coaches, family and I all worked as a village to make sure of it. He did the majority of the work, but I won’t be dismissed.By the grace of God, he is continuing to stay focused and spread his wings. We could NOT be prouder.

My cousin Laurie and her hubby and our family friends Andi & Jay are standing in for us in Texas. We also have my bestie Kelly and approximately a zillion family/friends (ok – I’m exaggerating). We couldn’t be more thankful and blessed with their influences in his life and their love for all of us – I mean – it’s not an easy task I’m sure. We’d all do it for others too… but it’s amazing and scary in some ways. Sigh.

So anyway, today is the 20th day we are living alone. It’s weird currently. There is so much to do. Let me catch you up…

MAJOR TASKS/LIFE CHANGES:
- Bud graduated
- Sorting Through 19 years of stuff.
  - The big toss
  - Shipped the rest
- Bud left for Texas.
  - Orientation – Andi took him
  - ROTC Camp – we will drop him off
  - Buying lists of things – Andi & I
  - Driver’s License – Andi & Fam are helping him
  - Gym – they take him daily
- Tarleton Conversations and emails…
  - I will say this. I literally sent the Prez/VP of the college an email after how great the entire Admissions/Advisor/ROTC team treated us. They answered a billion questions and called us, emailed us – and yes, even heard back from the VP. Can not say enough.
- Planning our Trip to Texas
  - Getting Bud to FW
  - Graduation Party – Thanks Laurie & Mario
  - Visiting Friends & Family
  - Visiting Lake House – and fishing trip – Thanks Mario & Laurie
  - Finding dog sitter – Check! Thanks Rachel.
- Finding a New Place To Live
  - We did it. We found a new Realtor. We told them exactly what we wanted, and how much we wanted to pay. We looked at half a dozen places and found one that we are super excited about.
  - We are moving to a town called Teverola. Many Americans live there, but it’s also very Italian. And we are happy. It’s a one-story, bottom floor apartment. 3 bedrooms, 3 baths, fireplace, pizza oven, nice porches, living area and kitchen are open. And plenty of storage. It’s nearer to the Support Site and we are going to start going to the gym there. Very excited about that.
  - But mostly – it’s a small Italian town with little shops and people say they walk everywhere, etc.
- Marque’s Job
  - We are now hoping our contract is renewed.
  - The word is, no matter who wins, Marque will stay.
  - Pray for us, my nerves are continually shot here. LOL
  - Marque is not worried at all.
- Pet Update
  - Gianna is going to live in England at the end of July. There is a group there who works with dogs who have behavioral needs. It’s best for her… also, it’s best for us. She has never allowed us to bathe, brush, or even pet her. She was abandoned, and she just never came around. And she’s gotten progressively aggressive – but she can’t help it. The vet said she is the most anxious dog he’s ever seen. Who knows what she has been through. We have nearly had her for two years and have tried everything. Trust me.
  - Melvin has been with us since January. He was about 5 weeks old when he was found on the streets of Gricignano and we have had him since that day. He’s 7 months old now. Strangely – they look like siblings, except Melvin won’t ever weigh over 7.5 Kilos (16 lbs). It’s been so nice to have a dog who greets us and wants to play, love, etc. You know? Sigh.
  - Goose & Mavericks are outdoor cats and we rarely see them. They are neutered but it’s so common for cats to be outside here. Unsure if they will come with us to new place. Doubtful. Being outside has thinned them up. Funny because they love the puppy and Gianna continually tries to eat them. LOL
- Health Updates
  - Marque has Type2 Diabetes. After his colon cancer he got thin, and was being careful. But with the pandemic stress, senior year stress, etc… he gained it all back. He’s currently working with our doc to get it straightened out. All diet and exercise related. And trust me, we are working on it.
  - I am working on truly getting over past trauma. It has affected my blood pressure, and anxiety in ways that I have to prayerfully and purposefully learn to control. Sigh. I’ll tell you about the book/workbook another time. Once we settle in our house I will have plenty of time to work on me. Blah.
- Em’s Volunteering
  - No CCD this year. Parents here don’t take it seriously and it’s frustrating. In fact we have taken a step back from the base Parish. Gotta find a good Mass and Parish experience. It’s super sad. But I am continuing to work on my relationship with God. Need to talk to the new Priest. I miss a Parish to get involved in and make good friends. It’s not how it works here. Sigh.
  - IC Club – all is well there. I’m the Events Coordinator for this next year. So exciting. Happy to say that we have a positive and helpful team. So thankful.
  - NMCRS – I am hopeful to get back involved there.

If you made it through that – you’re awesome. I will tell you this… as much as we miss our son (and for that matter all our people), we are loving hanging out, and working together to sort through things to downsize. It’s so easy to cook for two people. Y’all, I’m serious. If you want to know the truth – it’s only been 20 days that we’ve been alone. But we are a great team. And we know once we get through actually dropping him at college, the process of downsizing our stuff (which thanks to black mold won’t be hard – you’re welcome)…, moving again, getting through contract renewal… it will be smooth sailing.

We will likely be overseas until bud graduates college. But we hope to travel and spend some time in the states, and have some visitors over here.

Enjoy these pics of Melvin and Gianna – wait till you see how alike they are –

More soon…

Love & Hugs,
Lady Em

Angels · Catholic Faith · Counting Blessings · Currently · Davis Family · Faith · Family · Italy · LadyEm

Harm vs. Inconvenience

April 12, 2021April 12, 2021 LadyEm636 Comments

Dear Ones,

As I was reading my Magnificat this morning, it occurred to me that there’s a difference between being protected from harm, and walking through inconveniences. So in my human mind I get the two mixed up. I say to myself, “why would God let this happen? Why would God allow me and the people I love to be harmed in this way?!”

Here are the first few passages I read… and literally stopped to post, after being thoroughly convicted

“Exodus 14:19 — The angel of God, who had been leading Israel’s camp, now moved and went around behind them.

God’s providence is powerful indeed. Christ, who has led the way through death to life, now shield us from all harm and feeds us with the Bread of life, Himself, as He continues to lead us in our own exodus from slavery to the promised land of eternal freedom.

Psalm 34:1-9 — 1 I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth. 2 My soul makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble hear and be glad. 3 O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together. 4 I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears.5 Look to him, and be radiant; so your[a] faces shall never be ashamed. 6 This poor soul cried, and was heard by the Lord, and was saved from every trouble. 7 The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them. 8 O taste and see that the Lord is good; happy are those who take refuge in him. 9 O fear the Lord, you his holy ones, for those who fear him have no want.”

In the italicized portion above, you see that it says Christ shields us from harm. And as I was reading it I thought to myself, “duh, harm… Not inconveniences.” You may be asking yourself why this is a revelation to me. And if I’m being honest with you I don’t know why it’s still Is. I guess because I’ve been through so much in my life that the battle in my mind is sometimes so overwhelming that I need the constant reminder. And so when I feel strongly convicted I share… and I guess that’s what God wants me to do.

Lately I’ve been really battling depression over the fact that here in Italy were still locked down, my friends are leaving, and I can’t find a job. I think the real truth is that we all become cheerleaders for other people and we forget to tell ourselves the same thing. One would think if you could articulate to someone else that things are going to be OK he would buy it yourself but that is apparently not always the case. When things are terribly out of my control in life, because of some of the damage that was done In my childhood, it is, simply put, extremely difficult, to re-route my thought process away from the negative.

This mild depression is compounded by the fact that my husband wants to stay here for a few years, because he does have a very good job, and our youngest goes to college in the fall of 2022. To say that I dislike Italy and being this far from family is an understatement. There are some very good things here. Of course we always look for the good. But it’s lonely in a way that I can’t describe well without sounding crazy. We will be going to Texas for about six weeks this summer, spend some time with family, look at a few colleges, and visit with friends. It will be a battle for me to get back on the plane and come back over here.

I know that I have walked through worse… And that God has brought me to the other side. I just pray that by my example, on my good days, that I can make a difference in someone else’s life. I am a worrier. It’s one of my biggest sins. I know that things are gonna turn out OK because God has always provided for us… But I can’t seem to stop my mind from going to dark places on occasion.

I am stronger than I sound in this post, for sure. And I do praise God in good and bad times. Let me end this post with a positive… 10 days ago our washing machine broke down. The water is so hard here it had rusted the whole front of it in 2 1/2 years. Luckily the Navy exchange had two washing machines one being a Toploader. This is important because the rust on the front loader was caused by taking the clothes out of the washer and the hard, unfiltered water. Long story short I didn’t have a washing machine for a few days and I did lament spending the money on a new one. But the good news is folks we had the money to buy a new one and it is a superior washing machine. It is a 220 V machine for Europe, However the instructions are written in English. Her 2 1/2 years I’ve use the machine or the instructions are written in Italian and I kid you not I guessed which Load I should use. Haha

Check out the pictures of the old one.

It may sound like a lame example… But truly I believe God helped us choose a better washer for our family. It’s been a dream actually.

So you see you sometimes inconveniences turn out for the best. And even walking through harm, on occasion can mold you into a person that fits more with what God wants you to be. We cannot drink the water in our homes, but we can afford bottled water. I cannot physically reach my friends and family in the states but I can speak to them and see them over the Internet. There are so many things that can feel harmful. But there are are truly many more blessings in life. It’s about getting your mind straight… Let’s help each other do that!

Being far away is inconvenient. Many things about life are inconvenient. But we are not in harm’s way! Praise God!

Pray for me! I’m praying for y’all too!

Hugs and Blessings,
LadyEm

Counting Blessings · Davis Family · Italy · Quarantine2020

Quarantine Blessings… Food and Beach!

April 28, 2020April 27, 2020 LadyEm63Leave a comment

… Where to begin!

Dear all my American Friends…

Last evening, for the first time in- are you ready – 63 days, we ordered delivery. No restaurants are open. There is no such thing as “curb side pick up”. We got Caprese Salad with Prosciutto, gnocchi, margherita pizza, fried mix of things, and spaghetti fruiti di mare. I am quite sure I just spelled it all wrong, but LOOK AT IT!

And then y’all, the Magic happened. After dinner, walked out of our Parco without papers, and walked to the beach. IT WAS GLORIOUS. We saw people that were NOT our family. I picked up shells. The air was beautiful. The beach itself was filthy, but I got some good picks that I am pretty sure I cut the trash out of. LOL I’m not even complaining though because I needed this.

The sun setting was beautiful. The SeaShells stunning.

Yesterday, I said I was going to talk about Quarantine tips and trials. But I think I will move that to tomorrow. I need to think about it and make the post honest, but positive. We know who our God is. Catholic families are strong. And we are gonna get through all this with each other’s help.

Yesterday we counted a lot of blessings. I mean – the lawn people even came. It’s like a Q2020 Miracle. LOL

God is great ALL THE TIME!
Love and Hugs,
LadyEm

Catholic · Catholic Faith · Counting Blessings · Davis Family · Italy · Lent · Uncategorized

Walk With Me… I'm In the Desert…

March 23, 2020March 23, 2020 LadyEm632 Comments

desert

Dear Ones,

Can I ask you a question? And it’s a DOOZY… How’s your Lent going? With all this Coronavirus stuff and living in Italy, I can tell you – It’s not the best… OR IS IT?

When I started this post, my husband was laying asleep recovering from colon surgery (I’ll get to that). My child is knee-deep in virtual school – which he’s stressed about, but we’re both thankful we homeschooled before, so he’s ok. Sure, he misses his friends and being able to leave our Parco (neighborhood), but he’s doing ok.

February 25th, Marque went in for routine colon surgery to remove a bad area of his colon. We were told it was precancerous, but because there was a visiting surgeon with a colorectal specialty, we could do it sooner rather than later and she’d help out. The surgery was supposed to last three hours and lasted twelve. One of THE absolute longest days ever. People sat with me, comforted me, my child was there. And finally after 10pm, we headed home.

On the first day of Lent, I walked into the hospital room to my husband writhing in pain. It was no one’s fault. The way they laid him during surgery was slanted, and arms pinned by his side, and his shoulders were so pain filled he could not even lift his arms. The visiting Priest (ours is in California having serious surgery near his family) brought us prayer, blessings and Jesus in the Eucharist. Lent in a Day, y’all. Ash Wednesday. We got our Ashes too. Sigh

My husband was in the hospital for 23 days. I’ll spare you the details on the ups and downs, but there were some very scary moments/days where the desert FEAR causes was very real. As the days turned into weeks, the coronavirus got serious. A friend of ours, a surgical tech, warned me and made sure I understood late one evening that I would need supplies to last a month and that when I took Marque home, I should not venture out so I wouldn’t catch it. I remember being irritated because no one thought it was very serious – and then all of a sudden, Italy was shut down.

If you can imagine, here in Italy, we have to carry legal paperwork (in Italian) letting whomever might stop us know WHY we are leaving the house. We can leave for necessity, for medical needs, proven work requirements, and for returning home. Only grocery, pharmacy, a few hardware stores, and maybe a few other places are open. When the Italians decree came out that their people could no longer visit family in hospital, I asked permission to see my husband daily. AND I had to be home by curfew (6pm).

What if I told you that my husband did have cancer but it’s all gone? It never spread beyond his colon, not in his blood stream, not in his lymph.
What if I told you that yesterday, on Gaudete Sunday, as frail as he has been whilst healing (he lost nearly 50 lbs and is weak for now), he taught our son to grill chicken and shrimp and we watched a family movie?
What if I told you that this scary time has brought us closer, and helped us all appreciate one another more?

Before Marque had surgery a Priest told us we’d had our Lent laid out for us, he didn’t think we needed to give up anything else. And you know what, he was so right. The list of people I need to thank is long. I gave up sleep, my ego, and so much this Lent. We have all given up Christ in the Eucharist, and aren’t even sure if there will be Easter Mass. In my 56 years, I’ve never seen or experienced ANYTHING like it.

There were moments that I really didn’t even know if my husband would live. The fear in the desert is real. But I rejoice for this walk in the desert and the ability to be a light for others, and let others do for our little family.

I look forward to the day when quarantine is over and I can be in front of Jesus again. Until them I will adore him at home, with my little family, in our sweet desert.

Praying for you all.
Air Hugs (social distance mandate).
Love and blessings,
LadyEm