Sacrament of Reconciliation ~ Much Needed

March 13, 2023March 13, 2023 LadyEm63Leave a comment

Comfort Zone – Post 2

Dear Ones,

I’m making my way back to full-union with the Church. Sigh. It’s a process y’all. And I’m trying to be honest about it, so that others know it is ok and you can always come home.

After the Pandemic, we didn’t have a set Priest here in our MIL Parish. Lack of Confession (Reconciliation) and such created the perfect storm of “why bother?” And “Let’s just stay away.” The new Priest has been here for a year or so – maybe 18 months. I can’t remember. And I sent him an email, literally titled, “Worst Catholic Ever?” I’ll spare you the text, but suffice to say, I set up Confession for my husband and I. Neither of us had been for at least 18 months. In our defense, it’s NOT readily available. And the Parish here has not been well-manned. But – we could have arranged it, so I shall step off that broken record.

We worked to get on his calendar, and it ends up, we confessed our sins on Fat Tuesday. What a great way to kick off the Lenten season. On a related note, we have a Parishioner who has a very sick child, and they will make their way back to the states soon. In the meantime, I have taken over their CCD Class. You see, during confession (here in Italy, a lot of times you are looking at the Priest. It takes some getting used to.), the Priest and I also spoke about my not feeling like I belonged here at this Parish. So many things happened within the Command Chaplaincy, and rude parishioners… that many of us backed off. It’s a strange thing to come from being so active and fairly respected in your home Diocese, to being treated very poorly and disrespected by folks. I’m not the only one this happened to, and it’s in the past… but you now have a little background for when I say “feeling like I didn’t belong”. I mean it was to the point, I was doubting my faith.

So back to Father. He said, “we may need you to teach a CCD Class”. HA – how could I say no! I wouldn’t have anyway… it’s just funny. He’s done so much good for this little Military Parish. Including recruiting a teacher for CCD. I had taken this year off as I was truly unsure if I was going to be able to manage my son being so far away (5018 miles, but who’s counting?!). And my husband and I just thought we needed a break this year. God knew what I needed, and I am excited about the next few months.

I got a little head’s up about extra confession coming up this coming weekend, and I decided that after my class and I met, and chatted through introductions, we’d pick up one of my favorite children’s confession booklet and talk about Examination of Conscience as it pertains to the Ten Commandments. It’s by TAN Books, and it’s called My Confession Book (click on it and it will take you there). First published in 1958! Old school. The kids really enjoyed it. And Father stopped by to talk to them about confession and invite them to partake this weekend. YAY

During our discussion in class, one of the children said when he went to confession it was like a huge weight was lifted and he was floating. Y’all – it’s so true. My head was so chaotic as our life got crazy here in Italy… and being away from Sacraments during the Pandemic and after – it really took its toll. We are already feeling so much better about things here.

It’s now the 3rd week of Lent and we are enjoying being involved and going to Mass/Being in full union again. The first weekend of Lent I was in Assisi with a group of Catholic Women (Yes, I do owe you a post or ten). We have been participating in the meatless Pot Lucks on Friday evenings (I will share my recipes used soon). We will hopefully go to Stations of the Cross this weekend. Sunday I am bowling with children from a local Orphanage here in the Naples Area. I love kiddos, so that will be fun.

Because of anxiety and depression, I had honestly let a lot of things go… and I’m also purposing to be a better and more joyful home-maker, and make the house more pleasant for my husband too. It’s not like I was horrible to him, but I don’t have a full-time job here, and I could do more… so I am. Today, I am baking corn bread, and organizing a few things at home. We also have a guest bed here, and the tech is coming to put it together this evening and then we will officially have a guest room – YAY.

Signing off for today. Tomorrow, I should have a Gospel Reflection going live. I will share it then.

Love, Hugs & Blessings,
LadyEm

Anxiety and Fear · Catholic Faith · Comfort Zone · Emily (Me) · Italy · LadyEm · Lent · Mental Health · Sacraments · Self Improvement

Underestimating God ~ Trust is a Process

March 6, 2023 LadyEm632 Comments

Comfort Zone – Post 1

Happy March 6th y’all. Happy Second Monday in Lent.

On February 16th, I posted the below on my FB Wall. Over the past several years the tragedy of my life – as a child, as a young woman, and even the past decade has weighed on me to the point it really broke me in many ways. And I am thankful.

In the broken, I have been able to handle the pieces of tragedy in a way more positive way. I prayed before I wrote this post because in so many ways, it’s like a broken record. Holding myself accountable and taking responsibility for my lack of focus – on God, on my health, on so many things. And Lent is my saving Grace this year. Learning to fully rely on and trust God – not in a way that I “thought” I was… but truly realizing me that I can not say “Yes God, I trust you. But I’m gonna do what I want!” Trust is hard for me. Anyway…. Read these two pictures, and I will give an update at the end!

The book this passage is from is the Magnificat. I placed the link on the word. If anything happens to the link, go to http://www.magnificat.net and you will find it (and about a zillion other books you may “need”).

Just like the Israelites, mentioned above, I don’t trust God enough to believe HE will do what HE says. So Lent, for me, is a succession of stepping out of my comfort zone moments… in which I let God, my Father, guide me. Imagine that?!

Update: When I spoke to the doc, he said he wanted me to up my BP Meds (because I have a hereditary high BP). And he also recommended that I wean myself off the Anxiety/Depression meds slowly. I went to 1/4 of the dose and after a week realized half the dose is my number for now. Sadly – due to all I’ve walked through, I may have to be on meds long-term. Doc says that’s ok. It’s nothing I am doing wrong. Sigh. I am thankful for friends and family, and for praying people who have bolstered me throughout this period.

I love my medical team here in Italy. Truly they care. They have been instrumental in my learning to care for myself. I’m so thankful. And now that I am headed back to a better relationship with the Catholic Church and God (oh yes, I was flailing/failing both)… things are really looking up.

I will share with you, that a few weeks before Lent started, I reached out to our new Priest about confession and discussion. I hadn’t been to confession in about 18 months or so – not a stellar show of faith. I’d really given up in many ways. Sigh. But when I was speaking to my son about what he needed to do to get back to faith… I clearly heard THE FATHER speaking to me, through me. Sigh.

Now, I am off to do my Italian homework, and make a few cards. I will share the cards on the blog. Soon, I will share about a woman’s retreat I went on to Assisi. Talk about stepping out of my comfort zone. LOL You’ll see. Until Then…

Love, Hugs & Blessings,
LadyEm

Anxiety and Fear · Catholic · Catholic Faith · Currently · Emily (Me) · Faithsanity · Italy · Mental Health

Faithsanity – We All Need It!

September 29, 2021September 29, 2021 LadyEm631 Comment

Dear Ones,

Did you ever experience heartbreak whilst praying a Novena or Listening to a suggested video?

Ahem, I have a point.

Well yesterday I had one of those moments. I was reading the forward for the St. Therese Novena, and it was suggested we listen to a video from the Pray More Novenas Retreat. Y’all – it was overwhelming. My chest and heart were heavy with sorrow at how lacking I am in my trust for God. But it was AWESOME and NECESSARY! And it took every fiber in my being to not beat myself up for being weak.

I really do try, every day, to look on the bright side. And I find that actively praying and being involved in Catholic Community is essential to my Faithsanity. You say, “what is Faithsanity? That’s not a word!” I say, “yes it is, I just made it up!” To me it means – being present in my faith and having good and faithful people around me that keep me on the right track. No – it’s not their job. But when you spend your time with quality, uplifting people, your attitude and angst can turn around. I promise you that. And anyway – the back and forth mentally can make life feel insane. Without my faith – on days I doubt and turn my back – I feel insane. Therefore, the word Faithsanity stands. I’m gonna say it’s an ACTION VERB! The art of purposing to stay active in the word and surrounded with Faith so that you won’t lose your mind. How’s that? You’re welcome!

I won’t bore you with everything I’ve walked through in my life. If you have read my various blogs the past nearly 20 years, you know the craziness of my childhood, and all the details that brought on a monumental lack of confidence in myself and my talents that God gave me… And sadly, my lack of trust for God himself.

I don’t know if you are like me, but for as long as I can remember, my mind, when any little thing goes wrong, spirals very quickly to a dark place… Not a place where I would harm myself (though I have thought of it at times in my life)… But a place where the doubt and the “well of course things won’t go right, how could it… no body cares about me…why do you hate me God?” thoughts trickle in. And I’ve made a lot of bad decisions based on how little I thought I was worthy of God‘s love. It could be the smallest thing and I spiral. So weak – right? In my mind, I’m so weak… and yet, in HIM I am strong! Come Holy Spirit – help me remember.

I am here, in Italy, separated from a truly faithful community. Even though I teach CCD and am involved, I do not feel close to these folks, many who truly do not put God first. I’m sure there are people here who would take offense, but it’s very weak Catholicism here. Very weak indeed. Our Catholic Community at home was close and strong and lived liturgically. And it was awesome… Admittedly, I did not always see it. But that’s not the point. The point is – I need that close Catholic Community. I need to stay in the word and bridge the gap of being away from home whenever and however I can. Because this whole hiding thing I’ve been doing – it doesn’t work! lol

Anyway – before I talk your heads off, Let me lead y’all to this clip I watched yesterday… If you are struggling with self worth, self doubt, and any kind of spiritual negativity – Please click the link (look for the study sheet too)… and LISTEN to this. Memorize it. God knows our world and knows how much we need him. I implore you!

I may listen to this daily for the next several days. I want it to really sink in. As I was watching, I became hopeful that I will once and for all, really take the words in and realize that I am special to God and That I have a purpose. If you are walking through a period of time, be it daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly or just randomly periodic… where you need assurance that God loves you and that he doesn’t need you to be perfect he just needs you to trust him…

This is for you: The Gift of St. Therese and Her Weaknesses

Additionally – Please sign up at Pray More Novenas for a great spiritual experience. John-Paul and Annie are spectacular and bless us all so much. I always get so much out of it. Being honest, there are times I miss a day, and that is ok. God knows your heart. Catch up and keep going. Without great and encouraging people like these faithful two, I’d be lost. I’m so thankful.

I just thought I’d share that with you! It may make absolutely NO sense to you.
But I am struggling – obviously… and I am going to keep coming back and reminding you that there is hope in God and our Faith! We are blessed and we are strong. And our Weaknesses will teach us what we need to learn – therefore to view them as gifts is necessary!