Comfort Zone – Post 1

Happy March 6th y’all. Happy Second Monday in Lent.

On February 16th, I posted the below on my FB Wall. Over the past several years the tragedy of my life – as a child, as a young woman, and even the past decade has weighed on me to the point it really broke me in many ways. And I am thankful.

In the broken, I have been able to handle the pieces of tragedy in a way more positive way. I prayed before I wrote this post because in so many ways, it’s like a broken record. Holding myself accountable and taking responsibility for my lack of focus – on God, on my health, on so many things. And Lent is my saving Grace this year. Learning to fully rely on and trust God – not in a way that I “thought” I was… but truly realizing me that I can not say “Yes God, I trust you. But I’m gonna do what I want!” Trust is hard for me. Anyway…. Read these two pictures, and I will give an update at the end!

The book this passage is from is the Magnificat. I placed the link on the word. If anything happens to the link, go to http://www.magnificat.net and you will find it (and about a zillion other books you may “need”).

Just like the Israelites, mentioned above, I don’t trust God enough to believe HE will do what HE says. So Lent, for me, is a succession of stepping out of my comfort zone moments… in which I let God, my Father, guide me. Imagine that?!

Update: When I spoke to the doc, he said he wanted me to up my BP Meds (because I have a hereditary high BP). And he also recommended that I wean myself off the Anxiety/Depression meds slowly. I went to 1/4 of the dose and after a week realized half the dose is my number for now. Sadly – due to all I’ve walked through, I may have to be on meds long-term. Doc says that’s ok. It’s nothing I am doing wrong. Sigh. I am thankful for friends and family, and for praying people who have bolstered me throughout this period.

I love my medical team here in Italy. Truly they care. They have been instrumental in my learning to care for myself. I’m so thankful. And now that I am headed back to a better relationship with the Catholic Church and God (oh yes, I was flailing/failing both)… things are really looking up.

I will share with you, that a few weeks before Lent started, I reached out to our new Priest about confession and discussion. I hadn’t been to confession in about 18 months or so – not a stellar show of faith. I’d really given up in many ways. Sigh. But when I was speaking to my son about what he needed to do to get back to faith… I clearly heard THE FATHER speaking to me, through me. Sigh.

Now, I am off to do my Italian homework, and make a few cards. I will share the cards on the blog. Soon, I will share about a woman’s retreat I went on to Assisi. Talk about stepping out of my comfort zone. LOL You’ll see. Until Then…

Love, Hugs & Blessings,
LadyEm